Prayer and Kindness

Three days after the Newtown, Connecticut massacre, we pray for those entering a lifetime of grief.
We care for them by small acts of kindness.  A smile, a kind word, a gift -- small gestures that can be a momentary balm for the fire of their pain.

Put on kindness

A  lady passed out small jars of Burt's Bees moisturizer.  She likened rubbing this waxy substance into her hands as a parallel for putting on kindness.  Being kind requires work and continual attention, especially when those around us seem hardened and unreceptive.

But it is His kindness that leads us to repentence.  So, in turn, His kindness within us can be sent out to our "neighbor." 

Fine Wine

My husband compares graceful aging to that of a fine wine, that mellows and becomes beautifully resonant with age.  So it is, as I look at pictures of my husband and me together at our daughter's wedding.  The essence of a "fine wine" seems apparent as I see us, married for 26 years, still together at a most poignant moment in time.

Sometimes it's easy to stay together, sometimes it's not.  But the results can be that of tasting a fine wine.  These results can't be bought, or forced.  They only come with years of faithfully pursuing God and each other.

Power to do and bear

There is the BIG reason why being a child of God makes a difference-- because we are washed clean in Christ's blood, thus being able to achieve heaven.

Yet there is a daily reason, summed up well in this quote from my favorite devotional, Streams in the Desert:

"I cannot tell how it is that I should be able to receive into my being a power to do and to bear by communion with God, but I know it is a fact.

Are you in peril through some crushing, heavy trial?  Seek the communion with Christ, and you will receive strength and be able to conquer.  'I will strengthen thee.' "

Love covers

Love covers a multitude of sins......

Advice remembered

A pastor once said something about marriage that I will always remember.  He said, "There will be things about that person (your spouse) that you hate, but you choose to overlook those things."  That has really helped me over the years.  I hope it helps you, too.

Sticks and Stones?

Sticks and stones can indeed break bones, but the wounds caused by words are not so easily mended.  What words are we using towards our spouse this day?  Are they words of encouragement or criticism?  Words of kindness or belittlement? 

"Encourage one another and build each other up." (I Thess. 5:11)  Sometimes we have to ask for help with this one.  God is faithful to change our negative feelings and give us the ability to say encouraging words.  It might not happen with the first prayer but over days and weeks, change will come.

Looking up for healing

Life happens.  Amidst those happenings, we may one day find ourselves suffering from a broken heart.  This brokenness can come from something other than our marriage.  "He heals those with a broken heart." Psalm 147:4   We can look to our spouse for healing; he is part of the process.  But in the end, our healing is from God.  Heal us, Lord.

Reminding God of His own words

Pray that this will characterize your marriage:

Psalm 133

Behold, how good and joyful a thing it is, for brethren to dwell together in unity!  It is like the precious oil upon the head that ran down unto the beard, even unto Aaron's beard, and went down to the skirts of his clothing.  Like as the dew of Hermon, which fell upon the hill of Zion.  For there the Lord promised his blessing, and life for evermore.

Katie Luther

Try googling: "Martin Luther's wife" and you'll read some great things about Katie Luther. 

Martin Luther once said of his wife, “I would not want to exchange my Katie for France nor for Venice to boot; to begin with (1) because God has given her to me and me to her; (2) because I often find that there are more shortcomings in other women than in my Katie; and although she, of course, has some too, these are nonetheless offset by far greater virtues; (3) because she keeps faith and honor in our marriage relation.”

"Out of all the world, you have chosen me."

This prayer was a favorite part of my daugher's wedding:

O God of love, Thou hast established marriage for the welfare and happiness of mankind.  Thine was the plan and only with Thee can we work it out with joy. Now their joys are doubled since the happiness of one is the happiness of the other.  Their burdens are halved because they divide the load.

Bless this husband.  Bless and sustain him in all the exactions and pressures of life.  May his strength be her protection, his character be her boast and her pride, and may he so live that she will find in him the haven for which the heart of a woman truly longs. 

Bless this loving wife.  Give her tenderness  that will make her great, a deep sense of understanding and a great faith in Thee.  Give her that inner beauty of soul that never fades, that eternal youth that is found in holding fast the things that never age.

Teach then that marriage is not living merely for each other; it is two uniting and joining hands to serve Thee.  Give them a great spiritual purpose in life.  May they seek the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and the other things shall be added unto them.

May they not expect that perfection of each other that belongs alone to Thee.  May they minimize each other’s weaknesses, be swift to praise and magnify each other’s points of comeliness and strength, and see each

other through a lover’s kind and patient eyes.

Now make such assignment to them on the scroll of Thy will as will bless them and develop their characters as they walk together.  Give them enough tears to keep them tender, enough hurts to keep them humane, enough of failure to keep their hands clenched tightly in Thine, and enough success to make them sure they walk with God. 

May they never take each other’s love for granted, but always experience that breathless wonder that exclaims, “Out of all the world you have chosen me.”

When life is done and the sun is setting, may they be found then as now hand in hand, still thanking God for each other.  May they serve Thee happily, faithfully, together, until at last one shall lay the other into the arms of God. 

This we ask through Jesus Christ, great lover of our souls.  Amen.

Wrong person?

Do you ever feel that you married the wrong person?  Don't run; embrace where you are right now.

"Thus says the Lord of Hosts, the God of Israel, to all who were carried away captive, whom I have caused to be carried away from Jerusalem to Babylon.

Build houses and dwell in them; plant gardens and eat their fruit.  Take wives and beget sons and give your daughters to husbands, so that they may bear sons and daughters -- that you may be increased there, and not diminished.

And seek the peace of the city where I have cause you to be carried away captive, and pray to the Lord for it; for ni tis peace you will have peace."

Choose a verse

We started twenty years ago by choosing a specific scripture verse for each of our children.  Over the years, I have seen these scriptures come to pass.

Along the way, I thought of choosing a scripture for our family.  How to choose?  Pray and keep the spiritual antennae up.  The right scripture could show up while reading the Bible, or through a friend's words, or through the readings at church, or some other way.

The verse for our family is Judges 5:31: "Those who love Him are like the sun when it shines in its strength."
I remember a pediatrician entering the waiting room in which I was sitting with three of our children.  His comment was, "It's like walking into a room of sunshine."

A couple of years back, I realized the reference of this verse was our wedding anniversary.  5/31.  How cool is that?

I'd like to choose a verse for our marriage.  Will you do the same for yours?   

26 years

Yesterday was our wedding anniversary - 26 years.  My favorite devotional, Streams in the Desert, had the perfect illustration for what results when we don't jump ship!

Character with Age
“Like a shock of corn fully ripe” (Job 5:26).
A gentleman, writing about the breaking up of old ships, recently said that it is not the age alone which improves the quality of the fibre in the wood of an old vessel, but the straining and wrenching of the vessel by the sea, the chemical action of the bilge water, and of many kinds of cargoes.
Some planks and veneers made from an oak beam which had been part of a ship eighty years old were exhibited a few years ago at a fashionable furniture store on Broadway, New York, and attracted general notice for the exquisite colouring and beautiful grain.
Equally striking were some beams of mahogany taken from a bark which sailed the seas sixty years ago. The years and the traffic had contracted the pores and deepened the colour, until it looked as superb in its chromatic intensity as an antique Chinese vase. It was made into a cabinet, and has today a place of honour in the drawing-room of a wealthy New York family.
So there is a vast difference between the quality of old people who have lived flabby, self-indulgent, useless lives, and the fibre of those who have sailed all seas and carried all cargoes as the servants of God and the helpers of their fellow men.
Not only the wrenching and straining of life, but also something of the sweetness of the cargoes carried get into the very pores and fibre of character. –Louis Albert Banks

Perhaps by God's grace, we as a couple can attract general notice for the exquisite coloring and beautiful grain of our marriage.

Daily Movement

Relationships are fluid, not static, being affected by small choices made minute-by-minute, hour-by-hour, day-by-day.  As the grains of sand flow through an egg timer, so each choice will tip us towards or away from our spouse.  Small gestures: a hug, a smile, a hand on the arm, a compliment, a caring question, eventually add up to big results.  "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

Sculpting something priceless

"Higher than every painter, higher than every sculptor, and than all artists, do I regard him who is skilled in the art of forming the soul-life of children."

St. John Chrysostom (4th c.)

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

All things work together for good, for those who love God, for those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)  Accept what is happening now and move on.

Carmelite Nun

Today I went, for the first time, to a Carmelite monastery.  Six nuns live there in seclusion.  Their job, apparently, is to pray for the world.  I gave the sister some soup and tortillas through the wooden turnstyle.   She spoke kindly and answered questions through the black grating.  I could not see her. 

I asked her why Catholics talk so much about saints.  She said the saints are like members of our family.

I asked her about reading scripture.  She said that they read scripture seven times daily plus she reads on her own.  When I asked her what her favorite scripture was, she had to think and then mentioned the first part of St. John.  

What would it be like to be cloistered for life behind bars as a Carmelite nun, reading scripture seven times daily, praying for the world and getting food through a wooden turnstyle?  She was very excited about the food that I brought.

Trees

"I am like a green olive tree in the house of God." 

Those around me are trees, also, bearing fruit in season. 

I became accustomed to enjoying the sweet fruit of one close to me. The tree, now mature, is bearing fruit that only others can enjoy.  I feel angry and hurt that the fruit which I had come to love and depend upon is no longer there for me . 

Perhaps the fruit will be borne again for me one day, or perhaps the fruit is meant now for another.  Give me strength, Lord. Make me The Giving Tree....