God's Will in All Circumstances

Sometimes we talk about discerning God's will in a particular situation.   The scriptures give us a basic recipe for God's will:  Rejoice always,  pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.  (I Thessalonians 5:16-18)

What if things aren't going our way?  What if we are being mistreated?  Rejoice always,  pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

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What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? [Romans 8:31]

Turning Fear into Fear

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.  (Psalm 111:10, Proverbs 1:7, Proverbs 9:10)

Three times this is stated in the scriptures!   When life's monsters loom in front of us, it is easy to become afraid.  Let us turn the scared type of fear into the scriptural type of fear: respect for the Lord. As we do this, our inner human fears can be replaced with godly fear:  confidence in the One who is stronger than the monsters.

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The LORD is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me? [Psalm 118:6]

The Angel of His Presence

In all their distress he too was distressed,and the angel of his presence saved them. (Isaiah 63:9)

There are times when we feel distressed.  How comforting to know that God, in his love, is distressed with us.  He sends us the angel of His presence.  I know not whether it is a heavenly angel that emanates the presence of the Lord, or whether it is the Lord himself who's presence is angelic.  Either way, how beautiful to know that we have the angel of His presence.

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Surely, he hath borne our griefs and carried our sorrows.  [Isaiah 53:4]

Sowing Tears, Reaping Joy

"He that now goeth on his way weeping, and beareth forth good seed, shall doubtless come again with joy, and bring his sheaves with him."  (Psalm 126:7)

Relational conflict, particularly with a spouse, can cause us to weep.  Within our pain, anger and frustration, we must be careful to sow good attitutes, actions and words of peace and kindness.  This will produce future joy in that same relationship and bring much good fruit from our own personal tree of life.

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They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. [Psalm 126:6]

Becoming Agape

Remember this well-known exchange from John 21?
 
"Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?" He said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You." He said to him, "Tend My lambs."

He said to him again a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me?" He said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You." He said to him, "Shepherd My sheep."

He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me?" Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, "Do you love Me?" And he said to Him, "Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You." Jesus said to him, "Tend My sheep."

When Jesus said love, he used the Greek word agape, meaning selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love.  When Peter said love, he used the Greek word phileo, meaning benevolent, kindly love that is found in friendship.

Peter may have started as a phileo lover of Jesus, but he eventually became an agape lover of Jesus.  Tradition tells us that he was crucified upside down as a martyr for Jesus Christ.

Likewise, one may start out as a phileo and eros (physical) lover of one's spouse, but can grow to be an agape lover.  Christ brings about that change as we stay in close communion with Him.  He did it for Peter.  He can do it for us.

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For as often as you eat this bread, and drink this cup, you do show the Lord's death till he comes. 
[I Corinthians 11:26]

Downward Spiral

Scenario:  She feels hurt about something that has happened.  When she tells him about it, he gets angry and defensive which makes her feel more hurt.   To protect herself, she decides not to tell him how she feels in the future, creating emotional distance.  He throws up his hands in frustration, "She's never happy," and turns his back, creating emotional distance. It's a cycle that only can be broken by stepping aside from the downward spiral and looking up to God.

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I was in misery and he helped me. [Psalm 116:6]

Look Up

We try our best, but sometimes it's not good enough.  We feel down.  "The LORD upholds all who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down." (Psalm 145:14)

Lord, lift me up and let me stand,
By faith, on Heaven’s table land,
A higher plane than I have found; 
Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.
 Johnson Oatman Jr. (1856-1926)

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The LORD raiseth them that are bowed down.  [Psalm 146:8]

Scripture, Not Spinach

Remember the cartoon of Popeye the Sailor Man?  Whenever he needed energy, he would eat spinach and, "Voila," he had all the energy he needed. Perhaps the same can be true for us if we are walking in the will of God and, instead of spinach, we ingest scripture.

Today there was an event for which I've been preparing for three days.  I was apprehensive about my energy level -  to make it through this last full day and then be "on" for the event itself.  On my bathroom counter is a scrap of paper reading these words:  "Thy God hath sent forth strength for thee." (Psalm 68:28)  Every time, upon seeing those workds in the last  48 hours, I would pray for strength.

The event is over; it is late at night, and I am not completely wrung out and exhausted.  My God sent forth strength for me, in part by sustaining me physically and in part by the help of beautiful friends and family who stood beside me and helped with the needed tasks. 


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Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always. [Psalm 105:4]

Bitter or Sweet?

As a followup from yesterday's post, here is a quote from Amy Carmichael, the Irish missionary to India. 

"For a cup brimful of sweet water cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, however suddenly jolted."

What kind of water is in our hearts?  Is it sweet?  Is it bitter?  The Lord can take the bitter situations in our lives and turn them into sweetness in our hearts.  The more we seek Christ, the sweeter we become.  Pursue Him and His love.

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Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness.  [Psalm 30:11]

Default Demeanor

Most of us have a general aura, or demeanor about us.  The question is:  What sort of demeanor are we in the habit of assuming towards our spouse?  What is our default position?  Is it sullen anger, peaceful acceptance, sharp/accusing, soft/loving, cold shoulder, quarrelsome/complaining? 

Proverbs 21 says, "It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman." 

I Peter 3 mentions "the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

Would you rather live with the Proverbs 21 person or the I Peter 3 person?

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But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness. [I Timothy 6:11]

Practice Makes... Better

Working on one's marriage takes a lot of time, effort and practice. Being a good wife/husband isn't automatic.  Look at how many hours, days and years are put into getting a degree or music lessons or a sport. 

Becoming accomplished as a spouse takes, time, practice, effort, pain, bruises and coming back fighting (in a good way) to make things better. 

Ask the Lord to show you what skill you need to focus on right now regarding your learning curve as a wife or husband. .  God is faithful and will help you.  Remember, your job is to work on you, not to look at what your spouse is doing wrong.  Leave that part of the team to God.  

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 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  [II Corinthians 4:7]

Bring Back That Lovin' Feelin'

Remember that song?  It's true, the loving feelings aren't always there, sometimes for justifiable reasons.  What to do?

1.  Pray.  Ask God to help you forgive.
2.  Take the first step.  Reach out towards this person, who may not deserve your love at the moment.  Show kindness and forgiveness.  Be proactive.  This is very hard because you won't feel like it.  Maturity is developed in this process.  So is.....love.  Your actions, over time, will help to "bring back that lovin' feelin'. " 

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Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
[Psalm 51:12]

Needed Balance

Sticking it out for many years in a marriage can bring a new perspective. One eventually sees that the different approach our spouse takes to life's situations can provide needed balance to our one-sided approach.

I reached out in a small way to a friend with whom there'd been some strained feelings.  When telling my spouse what I had done, I questioned his opinion regarding my actions, saying, "You don't think it was necessary?"  He shrugged and said, "That's why God has us together," indicating that my actions were positive steps that he would not have initiated.

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 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? [Ecclesiastes 4:9-11]

Reconciliation

Whether it is in marriage, or in friendship, there are times when reconciliation is needed.  When we feel wronged, we often place the responsibility to reconcile in the offendor's court.  However, what if this person fails to initiate contact?  He or she may not even be aware of an offense.

How did we contribute to the conflict?  Can we apologize, even though the fault seems greater on their part?  Even after prayer for help, this can require a literal gritting of one's teeth as we approach the other person.  It seems so wrong that we have to initiate when they have been the offender. Yet this is following the way of Christ, and will bring about good things.  Even if the other person responds poorly, we can know that we tried.

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In Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. [II Corinthians 5:19]

Giving Us What We Do Not Have

When we think of being without something, we often think of physical things like money, food, clothing, or even good health.  There's another kind of poverty, though.  We can be without love, patience, gentleness, self-control, and other life-sustaining things.

Just as God can be our provider for the physical things, he can supply us with things like love -- things that we can't find within ourselves.  This doesn't happen overnight.

Does a tree bear fruit in a mere instant?  It takes years of pruning, watering, harsh seasons, gentle seasons, rain, dew and sun before delicious ripe fruit is borne.  Some of the fruits that come from God are:  love, patience, gentleness, self-control, joy, peace, kindness and faithfulness.

We can be tempted to cut down our tree and plant a new one.  Yet the process of growth and maturity will take a set-back as the growth has to begin yet again.  The Master Gardener can bring us out of our poverty as we submit to His growing process.

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"If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." [John 15:5]

The Little Girl

There once was a little girl.  She knew a man who had graduated from Harvard University. He was her grandfather.   People would talk about her grandfather and say, "He is a great man."  The grandfather did not enjoy being with the little girl. When she was near him, he ignored her or was impatient with her, ridiculing her if she made a mistake.

There once was another little girl.  She knew a man named Jesus, who was from Nazareth.  People would talk about Jesus and say, "Can anything good come from Nazareth?"  Jesus enjoyed spending time with the little girl  When she was near him, he would take her onto his lap and talk with her, telling her wonderful stories about God.

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Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."  [Matthew 19:14]

Holding On

We often feel like we are holding on, just trying to get through each day.  Yet, God is the one "who holdeth our soul in life and suffereth not our feet to slip." (Psalm 66:9)   He is holding on to us as we travel through  the fire and water.

"How wonderful he is in his doing toward the children of men...We went through fire and water, but You brought us to a place of abundance." (Ps. 66:5b, 12b0

"They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them."   (Daniel 3:27)

"But the sons of Israel walked on dry land through the midst of the sea, and the waters were like a wall to them on their right hand and on their left."  (Exodus 14:29)

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He will not let your foot slip-- he who watches over you will not slumber.                 [Psalm 121:3]

Delighting in the Daily

 The day-to-day of motherhood is so beautifully described in the words below. 

"Love sleeps in my bed. Curiosity eats at my table. Delight runs laps around my back yard. Exhaustion is a faithful friend. But so is grace."

Thanks to my friend who shared it with me, via this link:
http://momastery.com/blog/2013/06/10/for-the-dog-days/

 I am watching my friends move on to be empty nesters.  Exhaustion is a constant companion, but so are the children who's love, curiosity and delight surround me daily.  I rely on God's grace to strengthen me.

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But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.  [Luke 18:16]

Every Hour

"I need Thee ev'ry hour,
In joy or pain;
Come quickly and abide,
Or life is vain.

"I need Thee ev'ry hour,
Most Holy one;
O make me Thine indeed,
Thou blessed Son."

Chorus:

"I need Thee,
Oh I need Thee,
Ev'ry hour I need Thee!
Oh bless me now my Saviour,
I come to Thee."

Amen - So be it.  

Every Morning

It's the end of a long, tiring, unsettling day.  I give the day to the Lord; I place the unsettling issues on His shoulders and ask for answers and guidance.  Show me what I need to know, Lord.  Show me what I need to do.  I practice thankfulness; there are SO many reasons to be thankful.

And then, I go to bed early because "His mercies are new every morning" and I know that the sooner I go to bed, the sooner I will receive those new mercies.  

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LORD, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress.  [Isaiah 33:2]

Peace

From one of my favorite Welsh hymns, notice the capital letters that emphasize the Divine.  Meditating on these words has gotten me through quite a few rough days...

"Grant me the Peace beyond all earthly knowing
The gentle Peace that came thru' Boundless Woe
And from the Cross, on waves adversely beating
Against my soul, may Jesus calm bestow.

O! Grant the Peace whereby I would be willing
On earth to do God's work without dismay
Devoid of fear and confidently dwelling
In God the Father's love
Throughout my day. "

(H. Elfet Lewis 1860-1935,  English Trans. Caleb Rees)

Faith and Honor

Martin Luther once said of his wife, “I would not want to exchange my Katie for France nor for Venice to boot; to begin with (1) because God has given her to me and me to her; (2) because I often find that there are more shortcomings in other women than in my Katie; and although she, of course, has some too, these are nonetheless offset by far greater virtues; (3) because she keeps faith and honor in our marriage relation.”

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Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God... [I Peter 2:17]

Four Fingers Pointing Back

I remember retorting, as a kid, "When you point your finger, you have four fingers pointing back at yourself!!!"   There's a scripture that says the same thing in a much wiser way:  "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us." (I John 1:8)  Why is it so hard for us to see our own faults??

Marriage is a sanctifying, purifying process.  If we want it to be successful, we have to stop blaming the person whom our index finger is singling out and be willing to look where our other four fingers are pointing. 

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The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.  [Psalm 51:17]

H.O.P.E.

Here's a daily routine that, over time, will build a marriage.  The 'H' part is different for a husband than for a wife.

H~  For him, this is heart.  Even if you don't have loving feelings for her, show a heart of love by spending quality time with her and listening to her.  Ask her how you can better love her (and don't get angry with her honest answer; just listen).

H~  For her, this is help.  God gave Adam a helper, suitable for him.  Even if you don't feel like helping him, look for ways to be helpful and ask him how you can help him (and don't get defensive with his honest answer; just listen).

O~  Open your Bible every day and read something, even it it's just for five minutes. Psalms is a good place to start.

P~  Pray every day, even if it's just for five minutes.  Tell God your needs and ask Him to give you the strength and desire to help (if you're a wife) and love (if you're a husband) your spouse.

E~  Expect less from yourself and those around you.  If you demand perfection, or very high standards, from yourself and your family, a miserable dynamic of tyranny can ensue.  Not only do the demandees become miserable, but the demander is equally unhappy.  It is a lonely road.

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I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. [Ecclesiastes 3:12]

I Am, I Can, I Ought, I Will!

I came across this phrase today, by innovative educator Charlotte Mason.  Here is a personal elaboration of the phrase.  

I am a work of God.  "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God has before ordained that we should walk in them."  (Ephesians 2:10)

I can do what is right.  "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13)

I ought to move forward on the right path.  "Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove your foot from evil."  (Proverbs 4: 27)  "If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn't do it, it is sin for them."  (James 4:17)

I will pray for help.  "So what shall I do? I will pray with my spirit, but I will also pray with my understanding..."  (I Corinthians 14:15)

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Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the LORD of hosts. [Zechariah 4:6b]

Linen

The wedding gown that we will wear to the marriage supper of the Lamb, as the Bride of Christ, will be made of fine linen, bright and pure.  Our right to wear this will be recorded in two books:

"and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works." (Rev. 20:12)

The Book of Life, the first book, will have our names written in it if we believe in the saving blood of Christ.

The other books: These will list the good things we have done. 

        * I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me. (Matthew 25:36)

        * Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. (Proverbs 31:8)

        * Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. (James 1:27)


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Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure”— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. (Revelation 19:7-9)

The Ultimate Bling

A special friend of mine became engaged this past weekend.  When engagement and marriage are pending, tradition has it that the gentleman will present his bride-to-be with a precious ring, followed up by a second precious ring on the wedding day.

Did you know that God has an amazing set of precious and semi-precious stones that he is preparing for his bride?  That would mean us; those of us who are Christians.

"And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband...Her brilliance was like a very costly stone, as a stone of crystal-clear jasper...and the city was pure gold, like clear glass.  The foundation stones of the city wall were adorned with every kind of precious stone. The first foundation stone was jasper; the second, sapphire; the third, chalcedony; the fourth, emerald; the fifth, sardonyx; the sixth, sardius; the seventh, chrysolite; the eighth, beryl; the ninth, topaz; the tenth, chrysoprase; the eleventh, jacinth; the twelfth, amethyst.  And the twelve gates were twelve pearls; each one of the gates was a single pearl. And the street of the city was pure gold, like transparent glass." (Excerts from Revelation 21)

God is preparing to adorn us, his bride, with the ultimate bling.  Tomorrow, we will discuss the wedding dress!

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They were longing for a better country--a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them. [Hebrews 11:16]

Patience, Acceptance, Hanging in There

This was on a card that I received recently:

"Love has little to do with moonlight and balconies
    and everything to do with patience, acceptance, and hanging in there.

Love can't always move mountains or change the world overnight,
     but it can open its arms at the end of a long, bad day
       and welcome you home to true belonging."

If while we were still sinners, Christ died for us, then surely He can enable US to open our arms to those around us, while they are still sinning.

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Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another. [I John 4: 10,11]

Only God

It is easy to think that a relationship will bring us fulfillment.  Yet no one person can ever meet all of our needs.

If we enter into a friendship or romance in a self-centered way, saying, "This person will love me the way I deserve...,"  we will be sorely disappointed.   "O put not your trust in princes, nor in any child of man, for there is no help in them." (Psalm 146:3) 

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For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust... [Psalm 71:5]