Rose petals

I, by chance while out driving, have heard quadriplegic Joni Earekson Tada speaking on Christian radio several times recently.   She and her husband, Ken, have come out with a book about marriage.  She had the most beautiful illustration that I wanted to pass along, although I won't be able to say it as well as she did.

She said that, every morning,  a couple of women come to help her get ready for the day.  There were some dried rose petals on her bathroom counter that had fallen off a bouquet.  The girls were starting to clean them up and she asked them to stop, take the petals, and crush them in their fingers.  Then she asked them to hold up the crushed petals to her nose.  She smelled the beautiful fragrance that came when those petals were crushed.

Joni said that this is what marriage is like.  You are crushed, and as you allow the crushing to take place, a beautiful fragrance comes forth.

Pansies

I discovered today, in my leaf compost pile, a pansy plant in full orange-flowered bloom.  Last fall, I had dumped the contents of my flower pots onto the compost pile.  Sometimes the beautiful moments, that we think are gone, can come unexpectedly to visit us again. 

Shining

My favorite devotional spoke today of shining for Christ.   

I usually send my children off, be it for a play date or a romantic date, with a prayer.  I pray over them that they will shine for Christ.

Yet shining has a cost.  A candle does not shine unless it is burning.  This burning causes self-reduction, even pain.

“Many want the glory without the cross, the shining without the burning, but crucifixion comes before coronation.  

“’The glory of tomorrow is rooted in the drudgery of today.’”

For Happiness or For Unhappiness

I'm not convinced that "happiness" is a necessary constant in order for someone to stay married.  Happiness often is a byproduct of wise choices made on the part of both people in a marriage. Yet, even then, there are some days when we feel happy and days when we don't, for any number of reasons. (Sometimes, the reasons can even be hormonal.)

Is it our spouse's job to make us happy? If we approach our marriage in that way, we will become demanding tyrants, contributing to misery of the very person the WE CHOSE to marry. What should be our focus on any given day?

Greater love hath no man/woman than this that he lays down his life for his friend. It comes back to Christ's perfect example, of laying aside his own rights and desires and seeking to serve those He loved. This is how to treat the person we have vowed to love for better or for worse...... for happiness or for unhappiness.

If I were to make a "happiness chart" of my own marriage, it would look like the Himalayan Mountain range. Nonetheless, the fine wine of a lasting marriage grows deeper and more valuable with each passing day.

Am I a Five-Star Spouse?

We are currently looking to buy another vehicle.  I have been spending time on car websites, like Consumer Reports and Edmunds, reading many, many reviews on certain cars. 

 

When a car is bought new and has been reviewed right away, I think, "That car hasn't stood the test of time.  It may seem great at first, but how will it do over a period of years?"

 

Each person gives the car a 1-5 star rating.  The car I'm considering has a 4.5 rating.  I read 141 reviews.  Some say, "Great vehicle.  Fun to drive.  No complaints."  Others say, "Doesn't get the gas mileage that it claims," and one said, "This vehicle stinks!"

 

It got me to thinking....

 

What rating would we get if our spouse were to give us a star rating between one and five??  Would it be, "Started off great, but didn't perform well over time,"  or, "Extremely reliable; happy with my choice,"  or perhaps,"Very disappointed; am planning to cut my losses and trade it in." 

 

It's tempting to think about what rating we would assign to our spouse, but it is more beneficial to estimate what our own rating could be.  The God who created the universe, the Milky Way, and all the stars can help us to become worthy of a 5-star rating.

WHY, Part 2

In the aftermath of the Boston bombing....

I recognize that there are no pat answers for the WHY? of human suffering.  Yet, here is a different approach than the one mentioned yesterday.

W -  Wrestle with the issue, don't wallow in it.  Turn to scripture; ask questions; the Psalmist did.  "Why are you cast down, O my soul? and why are you disturbed within me? Hope in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance." (Psalm 42:5)

H - Hope in God; don't be hopeless.  "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." (Jer. 29:11)  Some translations say, "...to give you a hope and a future." 

Y - Yield to Christ..  Don't turn to yourself for the answers.  Think of his promised end - the Holy City the new Jerusalem.   "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." (Rev. 21:4)

Joni Earekson Tada, Bethany Hamilton, and Robert Rogers are examples of people who have taken their extreme suffering and turned to God within it.  Robert Rogers is speaking next week, April 24th, in Drexel Hill, PA.

WHY

In the aftermath of yet another horrific tragedy, we fly the American flag at half mast.  And we ask... why?  Why the senseless killing, maming, carnage?  Whether it comes at the hand of a deliberate killer, a tragic accident or an act of nature, it's an old, old question that never gets answered - the question of human suffering.

I don't think the "why" question has answers this side of eternity, but we do have a choice in how we respond to seemingly senseless suffering.  There is a foolish, human way and there is a wise, godly way.

Today, I will suggest the way of the fool....

W.H.Y.? 

W -- Wallow in it. Think about the specific tragedy often, focusing on loss, futility and depressing details.
H  --  Hopelessness.  Remind yourself that nothing will ever change.  Life's a bitch and then you die.
Y  --  trust Yourself and your response. Allow cynicism to take hold.

Stay tuned for the way of the wise, tomorrow.