Sanctification Through Marriage

We think our child isn't ready for marriage.  It's too big a responsibility.  She isn't mature enough for marriage.  She hasn't finished her schooling.  She doesn't do what is expected of her at home; how will she ever maintain her own home?

In a marriage, there are expectations that our spouse places upon us and personal standards that we place on ourselves. We may strive much harder and work more diligently than we ever did while living under our parents' roof.  Sometimes, those very immaturities that we want to see corrected prior to marriage only will be corrected through marriage.

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They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. [Hebrews 12:10]

Obey vs. Honor, Part 2

It was one month later, March.   Her beau had arrived from a faraway land, to propose to her.  Once they married, he would take her far, far away.

She asked me to meet her for coffee.  "Do you have any reservations about him as a person?" she asked me.  He loved God and he loved my daughter.  They wanted to get married.  I had to admit to her that he seemed like a good man, but that she had to understand how painful it was for me to see her go.

She was 20 years old.  We thought we would have more time with her.  We thought she would marry someone from this country.  We thought....  it would be different. 

They got married that summer.

She didn't do what I wanted her to do.  I had hoped, for many reasons, that she would wait longer.   She didn't do what I wanted her to do, but she honored me.

My granddaughter was born six days ago.

TV~
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.  [Isaiah 55:9]

Obey vs. Honor

She was 20 years old and in love with someone that she'd spent 19 days with, at most.  Yes, they'd been Skyping and e-mailing for a year or more, but enough to know if they wanted to marry each other?  They were sure.

She asked to speak with us, her parents.  It was February. "We're thinking about getting married this summer."  She was very respectful.  We outlined four reasons why we didn't think it was a good idea. 

Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. (Ephesians 6:1) 

She was longer a child.  That changed overnight legally, when she turned 18.  Her position was the same in our hearts, though.  She was our little girl whom we loved and adored.   Was it right for us to say, "You MAY NOT get married this summer"?

TV~
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with promise), So that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth...  [Ephesians 6:1.2]

Go, and Sin No More

A woman was caught in adultery.  (What about the man she was with, I would like to know?)

Sinless Jesus didn't accuse or condemn.  He first rebuked her self-righteous accusers.  Then He said, in essence, "I don't accuse you.  But go and sin no more."

If a couple is "caught" in fornication, what would Jesus say?  Perhaps he would say, "I don't accuse you.  But go and sin no more. "  How, exactly, does this couple "Go and sin no more?"

I see two options for them:

1. Live separately and no longer be intimately involved.  They could try dating again - not easy once the relationship has already been established on a deeper level.  Still, it is an option that is within God's circle of blessing.

2. Get married and bring into wholesomeness the relationship that they have chosen. Also an option that is within God's circle of blessing, if they are both believers.

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If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn't do it, it is sin for them. 
[James 4:17]

Guidance for the Future

Yesterday, I was reminded that God promises to give wisdom to those who ask for it.  As we think about our life situation and seek guidance for decisions big and small, we can go to the Lord.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.  But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt... (James 1:6)

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For the Lord God will help me;  Therefore shall I not be confounded:  Therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know I will not be put to shame.  [Isaiah 50:7]

Joy Follows Pain

During the most intense, painful travail of childbirth, the mother thinks, "I can't do this."  Yet, she is left with no choice, but to continue on until the birth takes place.  Then comes the wonder, the joy, the relief and the intense feeling of love.

There are other emotionally painful times that we must see through to the end, and not give up.  If we say, "I can't do this," and walk away, then we will miss God's beautiful outcome. 

TV~
Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. [Psalm 30:5]

In the Same Foxhole

Shortly after we were married, my husband and I went to a marriage conference sponsored by Family Life Today.  Although the overall experience was not positive for me (no fault of the sponsoring organization), there was a pair of sketches that made an impression on me.

The first sketch was of two foxholes, opposite each other.  The wife was in one foxhole, pointing her weapon at the other foxhole.  Her husband was in the other foxhole, pointing his weapon right back at hers.

The second sketch was of one foxhole, with both husband and wife working together as a team, pointing their weapons outward towards the world.

Rather than pointing weapons at our spouse and blaming him/her for situations, let us work together to create an emotionally safe place within the home and point our weapons outward towards the influences that work against a healthy, happy marriage.

TV~
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: [Ecclesiastes 4:9]